A Day In Hell

So today was supposed to be one of the coldest days in history. I got no sleep last night between grieving over my lost friendship with Joe and my mother keeping me up all night going back & forth to the bathroom. Plus I had discovered during my trip to the garage for the keys and garage door opener that Joe left, that I had a flat tire.

With no sleep, a broken heart and no idea how to get through the day, I got up and numbingly went on about my business. Cost me $100 to replace the tire. It was beyond being patched. We made it to the cemetary just in time. We were pleasantly surprised at the amount of people in attendance.

The funeral was short. We made the necessary comments and gestures. I am still not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I saw Baby Sister and she actually hugged me. We had not spoken to each other in over a year.

I took mom home immediately after the funeral. Then I went straight to Joe's. His reception of me was rather cold. He told me that he was in NO mood for any more drama but he allowed me to come in.

The conversation was strained. We made very little small talk. Eventually we started to discuss my reason for being there.

He told me that he did not want to have this argument anymore. That we keep going round and round over an unwinnable fight. That now it was like kicking a dead horse and he was tired. He did not understand my reaction to the cell phone incident. He had every right to give his cell phone to whoever he damn well pleased. I tried to explain that it wasn't about the stupid cell phone but the boundaries that I felt had been violated and crossed. And every time I tried to talk to him about it he just shut me out. He put up this barrier and I was trying everything I could to get past it.

He said that our friendship had run its course and was over. We had some fun but friendships were not meant to last forever. I asked if this was it. Once I left his house we were just to be mere acquaintances at work. He said yes. I tried to explain how unfair I thought he was being, but he completely tuned me out. He told me that now the horse had flies on it and he was pushing it to the curb. I immediately got up and left in tears. I drove all the way home that way.

The good news it that he traded shifts the next 2 weeks with someone already and we will not be able to see one another during that time. It will give me some time adjust.