Blue Christmas

So not a peep was heard all day from Joe (a.k.a. gay boyfriend). Not a phone call, text, email, IM...nothing. I checked all day just hoping for some kind of response.

I guess that answers my question about our friendship. It really upsets me because I know if he was this upset with me, I would try to talk to him about it. I would apologize for making him feel bad. Even if I did not understand why he felt that way, I would still try to acknowledge his hurt feelings. That's what friends are supposed to do right?

I had a for shit day. Everyone I encountered knew something was wrong, but I couldn't talk to any of them about it. Joe (a.k.a. gay boyfriend) and I work together and no one needs to know our personal business at work.

We are supposed to work together tomorrow. I half expect him to hand me his set of keys and garage door opener to my house when I arrive to work. I know that sounds extreme but last year he got really angry with me over something at work and threatened to do just that. I couldn't believe how upset he was and tried to talk things out with him. I was so hurt that he was wanting to end our friendship over a work dispute. I'd be stupid not to think that he would be willing to do the same thing if he felt I was trying to come between him and the ex.

I'm not sure what I will say or do if he does return the keys and garage door opener. I know I will be devastated. But I can't make him be my friend. And I would never want to be friends with someone that couldn't be respectful of my feelings anyway. No matter how much I care about them.