Too Damn Emotional

So I left work yesterday so angry my face and ears were burning. I had a for shit night ending with a "discussion" from my manager regarding an incident that took place over 2 weeks ago. I ended up calling a technician friend of mine as I drove home. We will call him Good Ole Boy. He listen to me rant for 30 minutes then had to go and start his work day. I thanked him for listening to me and wished him a good day. He responded that that's what friends are for. All I could do was sigh in response.

I had a hard time falling asleep today. I think I finally fell asleep sometime after 4 pm. When my alarm clock went off at 9pm, I woke up irritated and emotional. The idea of coming in to work today just had me in tears. The thought of facing Joe, arguing again with other departments and having to defend my work actions just seemed like too much for me to handle. I sobbed all the way to work.

But I came to work and discovered that Joe wasn't here. I was so relieved. Then Old Lady Red informed me that it was just going to be me & her working tonight. I told her how upset I was and burst into tears again. She told me I am just so emotional right now that everything is affecting me when normally it wouldn't. That maybe I need to see someone to take something. She said that anything I couldn't handle tonight to just refer to her. I thanked her and immediately began working and handling my assigned area for the next couple of hours.

When everything was caught up, I went down to Old Lady Red's desk and we were discussing with someone from a different crew the pending possibility of a strike next month. Our work contract is up on April 4th and it is rumored that we are expected to strike for approximately 3 months. I said I wouldn't cross the picket line but many others I have spoken to have said they would. I've been saving up money and I'm not too proud to go work at McDonald's if need be. Of course my first thought was, man I could use a break from this place. I immediately felt guilty afterwards. Hoping for a strike just to get a break from the bullshit is just...well...wrong.

Old Lady Red and the other co-worker have been with the company since the 60s and this will be their 3rd or 4th strike if it comes to pass. They were telling me stories of how much they made back then and that there wasn't a strike fund and that they remember getting a $25 food voucher for Safeway grocery store once.

It was mentioned that the public may not be very receptive of our going on strike. With the economy being as bad as it is and so many people looking for a job, that we may come off as greedy and spoiled. But of course it all is about perception. If we present a reasonable and sound argument, then it will be the CEOs and company itself that comes off greedy and abusive. But there is a fine line there. You throw out too much negativity and it can come off as exaggerated propaganda. But bascially, there is nothing we can do right now but try to save up money & make the necessary arrangements to survive if the strike does take place.

So I came back to my desk and continued working on a project my manager Ms. S gave me to do the other night. I was not in the mood to work on it the past 2 nights, but I knew my time limit was ending and I needed to have the email sent out by this morning. Old Lady Red came down to my desk and helped me a little bit with it. I finally got it completed and emailed off with a lengthy note attached. Cause you know I am anything but brief when it comes to the written word. :-p

So far it has been an uneventful night, which is what I desperately needed. Tomorrow night it is just supposed to be me and Old Lady Red again. And it will also be my last night working the overnight shift. I will miss the laid back atmosphere but I guess it is time to get back to reality. And maybe facing Joe 3 days a week will finally either put me over the edge or help me get over our ended friendship. I guess we will soon find out.