Home Again...

I picked up Oliver's ashes today. I hadn't heard from the vet so I finally broke down and called them myself today. I should have done it sooner, but I just couldn't. I know he is gone, but bringing his remains home just makes it even more real. I have been crying ever since I went to the vet's office. I know Ollie wasn't going to live forever and I know that he had a good life. I just miss him.

I plan on finally putting up his litter box, toys and whatnot tonight. I also plan on packing up his food and snacks to take to my mother. I have put it off long enough and it is time. I let myself get distracted with all that other bullshit which prevented me from dealing with the loss of Oliver. I need to grieve now. As so many people have told me lately, it is time I concentrate on taking care of myself. And right now, I need to mourn the loss of my baby.

I know to some people he was just a cat, but to me he was my child. And his absence in my life is profound. I hope where ever he is that he knows how much I love & miss him. I hope he knows how important he was to me and that nothing is ever going to change that.