Lost in a Fog

I suck at metaphors and analogies. But one that I tend to use a lot is the comparison of dealing with situations to that of being lost in a fog.

When you are in the middle of something...whether it be a bad relationship or tragic event or what have you, you tend to be so blinded by the situation that you cannot see what is right in front of you kind of like being lost in a fog. Someone standing outside the situation can see clearly what you need to do and how to overcome the obstacle, like a person can easily see how you can leave the fog standing outside the foggy region. They can tell you where you need to go and whatnot, because they are not stuck in the thick of it just trying to survive.

I feel like I am lost in a fog right now. And the more I try to get out of it, the deeper and more lost I become. And everyone on the outside is telling me to go here or go there in an attempt to help me, but I can't seem to follow their directions. I think I am at the point where I just want to stop and wait for the fog to lift on its own. No more fighting it or trying to navigate through it. Just stop and rest...wait for the fog to disappear. And if it doesn't then I can take the time I stopped to rest to gather up the strength to begin trying to navigate through it again.

I don't know. I am having a bad day. I did not sleep well when I got off work yesterday. You see Joe volunteered this week to work the shift directly before the one I am working right now. So for 30 minutes we have to see each other. I was not prepared for it and it has really gotten to me. No words have been exchanged. I pretty much do not exist to him. I was able to stomach it Monday & Tuesday, but tonight when I came in I just had to run away. I hid for those 30 minutes until I knew he was gone. I called my mom and cried to her over the phone during that time. As soon as I saw him pull out of the parking lot, I returned to my desk.

My absence was noticed. And as soon as I returned to my desk my co-workers asked me if I was okay. I told them I wasn't and the reasoning behind my disappearance. They figured as much and asked me to come down and speak with them. I did, but nothing has changed. I sound like a broken record saying the same shit I have been saying for weeks now. I hurt, how can he just throw me away, blah blah blah. I am so sick of thinking about and I KNOW they are sick to death of hearing about it. Anyway....

I am lost in a fog.