20 Questions

Have you ever had a conversation that stuck with you long after it had ended? Well, I had one of those tonight with a co-worker. He asked me a few somewhat intimate questions and made some assumptions based on the answers that I provided. I did not admit nor deny much, just tried to keep him guessing on what was true and what wasn't.

The conversation started out innocent enough. A few put downs back and forth in a playful banter. He called me a whiner, I called him lazy. He asked me what kind of things I did outside of work...asked me if I dated. When I told him I did not need a man...had no time for one, he pursued the topic. I tried to steer the subject to something a little less intimate and much "safer" to talk about. It worked all of about 5 seconds and he returned back to the previous subject. I have to admit that I really liked that about him. I usually manage to change an uncomfortable subject thus achieving my goal of distracting the other person. They eventually forget about what we were originally talking about and I dodge another bullet. Not tonight.

Eventually he admitted he had a date of his own tonight. She was hot which compensated greatly for the red flags that managed to surface. I laughed at the male's (in general) ability to overlook some female's blatant flaws simply because she is highly attractive. I also laughed at his assumption that because I have not had a "date" in about 2 years I was hard up. I explained that a man is not necessarily needed to fulfill one's desires. First he blurted out that I was a lesbian. Then he jokingly concluded that I had electronic sexual devices. I did admit to having nothing except a pair of hand cuffs in my drawer. This of course intrigued him further.

Throughout the conversation I found it very interesting that he had felt he had me figured out. He tended to have this opinion that I had low self esteem which explained my working the jobs of 5 people to overcompensate my feelings of inadequacy. Because I said he would not find me "hot", I obviously had a low self image. Unbeknownst to him, he set off a couple of red flags for me during the course of our conversation which brought me to that conclusion.

He made a comment about his brother's sexual inexperience. How would he judge the extent of my sexual knowledge? He made a comment about the tendency of black parents to spank their children. How exactly would he react to the knowledge that I am a product of an inter-racial couple? He concluded that since I do not "date" nor have a serious relationship that I must be "hard up". When I tried to explain that dating does not automatically mean sex...that other arrangements can be made, he decided I must have a "fuck buddy." And let's not EVEN discuss his opinion of the homosexual community's rainbow symbol. How would he react to my strong opinions for gay rights? And then I wondered how he would process other facts about me.

Like for instance, I bought my bed because the head and foot board contain slots that allow hand cuffs to be used. Extreme action-packed movies turn me on. My favorite musical instrument is the piano. The last porno I watched lacked total imagination causing me to fast forward through most of it. My first love was named Johnathan, my second was named Chris and the third was married. A heated debate is foreplay. Every where I go I tend to encounter people that claim to know me from some where, even though I have NEVER seen them before in my life. Most guys I speak with end up becoming my pal and speaking to me more than they do their own wives or girlfriends. I have never bought a car. I am attracted to guys that work with their hands. My favorite movie of all time is Shawshank Redemption.

Finally, I realized that it does not matter what he thinks of me. I gave up trying to impress men a long time ago. I do not need to explain my lack of dating or pursuit in romance. Besides if we are meant to be friends, he will accept me as is. And if he can't, well that is really his problem anyway...