Skin - A - Max
I recently joined the 20th century and finally got DSL and a DVR. I even increased my cable package. Now I get all the movie channels (except Fox Movie Channel....What the fuck is up with that?) Joe (gay boyfriend) asked me why all the sudden changes. I told him I was tired of being behind the times.
I forgot what quality programming Cinemax provided...especially on the weekends. The other night I sat here and described to decayed rebirth about one the "fake porns" that happened to be on. I had been watching Sin City and then ended up watching (or more like hearing in the background) some cheap ass wanna be porn. I was amazed that someone actually spent money making such a movie. The moans were ridiculous, the breasts on the women were completely fake, and the men were orange not tan.
One lady's breasts looked like medium rocks on her chest. The did not bounce at all. And I could have sworn when the woman leaned against this guy's chest I heard him say, "Ouch!" I wouldn't have been surprised if she bruised him with those things. I even joked that the guy sprained his wrist trying to squeeze one.
Decayed rebirth said that they moaned with passion. I said it sounded more like they were constipated....like pain not pleasure. Waste of time and money.
Do you think that maybe if I was willing to give up one of my Cinemax channels they'd replace it with the Fox Movie Channel?
posted by Camlaw @ 8:56 PM
4 Comments:
It is more like they should have been committed for participating in such a ridiculous movie.
And as for InDemand, that is for programs you actually want to watch...
If it weren't for Skinemax, millions of 14 yr old boys would have nothing to look forward to after the parents went to bed. And yes, I'm speaking from experience.
So true! I think I speak for us all when I say that technique got me through many spastic frenzied nights during puberty. If it weren't for the Spice channel (scrambled, of course), I might have ended up turning to drugs. Oh wait, I did.
You turned to drugs because you are a Republican. So you could become a future presidential candidate someday. Lord knows you possess all the qualifications that the Republican party looks for in a party nominee.
But back to the subject at hand! I totally forgot about the scrambled porn channels. The 2 second clear shot of a nipple. The constant moaning in the background. I remember when those 2 seconds made up for the 3 hours sitting there looking at a scrambled mess.
The really upsetting thing is with 20 years having passed, the quality of fake porn has not improved. Sad really!
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