Kitty Porn!?!

I took Oliver to the Vet on Monday. He was past due for his shots and due for his "senior physical." They mentioned his teeth during his last visit so I asked them to do a dental cleaning as well. I also had them groom him since he is so hairy and it is like 150 billion degrees here. Little did I know what all I was asking...

First of all, Oliver is a mean-ass at the Vet's Office. Since he is declawed he bites. His poor chart is covered with red tape & stickers warning about his behavior. So anything they need to do that is even remotely invasive, they got to knock his butt out. They once gave me this sedative to help make him tamer before a visit and all it did was make him look loopy. He was still just as feisty and mean, but with bugged out eyes and a slight stagger.

They told me not to fed him after midnight on Sunday. They wanted to make sure he wouldn't get sick from the anesthesia. I have never taken up Oliver's food dishes before. I felt like I was starving him. He cried on & off all night bugging me for food. Then he followed me around my apartment all morning, sitting by his food mat waiting every time I neared the kitchen. OH IT BROKE MY HEART!

Anyway, I was to drop him off early since he was to be there all day. Unfortunately, Oliver saw the pet carrier and took off. First, he hid under the bed. Then when I went to get something out of my car, he ran out the door and took off running around the complex. I finally nabbed him by tricking him with the possibility of food.

We finally arrived at the Vet's much later than planned. They asked me how I wanted him groomed. A basic trim or a lion's cut? Lion's cut? Yes, they leave his tail and his head alone and cut the rest. Ok, lion's cut it is.

So I arrive to work 2 hours late and waited to hear from the Vet. I stayed one hour after work to make up some of my time. Anyway on the way home, I got the call. Oliver was ready. I told them I would be there in about 20 minutes. I was anxious to see my boy. Last time he was there, he became sick afterwards. I just wanted to make sure he was okay this time.

When I arrived, the receptionist was busy helping another owner. One of the nurses asked if she could help me. I said I was here to pick up my mean boy. "You must be Oliver's owner!" I hadn't even mentioned if I was there for a cat or a dog! I guess his reputation is pretty well known.

They brought him out while I waited for my bill. From what little I could see of him in the carrier he looked kind of naked. I couldn't wait to get him home. While I was waiting, the doctor came out and informed me that they had to pull one of his teeth. She said that he would be sore for a little while and will only be able to eat wet food. She also said I would be getting some antibiotics to give him. I petted him a little through the carrier feeling even worse for him. They really tortured my poor boy.

Finally, the receptionist gave me the bill. $821.72! I almost choked! I handed over my credit card. She ran it while I tried to look over the bill and tried to figure out what the hell I was paying for. I asked her a question and she had no clue what the answer was. Nor did she bother to ask anyone else either. Finally I signed my receipt and she went back to helping the other owner again. Seems they tallied their bill wrong.

Anyway, I continued to stand there for what felt like an eternity. Finally the receptionist looked over to me and asked kind of rudely if there was something else I wanted. I told her there was a bag on the desk behind her that looked like it had my name on it. She finally walked over there and retrieved my bag. "Oops. I was wondering why you were just standing here." DUH!

On the drive home, a whole block away, poor Oliver had an accident in the carrier. Luckily I had a towel in there with him so none of it got on to my car upholstry. I immediately let Oliver out of the carrier when I parked the car. He looked so naked!

I brought the soiled carrier into the apartment with Oliver following close behind me. He immediately went to his food bowl in the kitchen. I threw away the soiled towel and took apart the carrier to clean it. I fed him a package of wet food and he inhaled it. About a hour or so later I fed him another package. He was starving to death! I sat down and went through the bag I received from the Vet's Office.

I discovered some type of medicine to place on his teeth, the expensive Revolution for flea and heart worm treatment, two types of liquid medicine with one labeled for dogs only and a small plastic container with a fecal sample sticker on the side with my last name and paid for hand written on it. There was no new tags stating Oliver's up to date. No care instructions. NOTHING! I was livid!

I called the Vet's Office first thing yesterday morning. I left a message on their machine. I expressed how confused and upset I was. I requested someone call me back immediately. One of the nurses did and was complete apologetic. She pulled my chart and saw that the care instructions were still paper clipped on the front. She explained all the medication to me. She also explained that they could not get a fecal sample from Oliver when he was there. I explained, had I known I would have saved the one he had had in the carrier after I picked him up from the vet. She asked we to come by and they would give me a free bag of cat food, my tags and the care instructions I was supposed to receive the day before.

So I stopped at the Vet's Office on the way home. They gave me a huge bag (10 lbs) of dry cat food (Science Diet Senior). Oliver ain't gonna starve any time soon. Of course providing he ever gets back to eating dry food again. I am on poopie patrol now so I can take the vet a fecal sample since I already paid for the damn thing to be tested.

When I came home I was telling Joe (a.k.a. gay boyfriend) how naked Oliver looks now. Oliver actually has nipples! Joe (a.k.a. gay boyfriend) demanded I take pictures and send them to him so he can have blackmail material for later. So here are the pics:







Oliver looks like he is posing for Kitty Porn in that last one. He's still my cute boy though. And I am sure he is much cooler now. I just hope he can forgive me.