Endless Fascination...

I mentioned my TV obsession right? Well tonight while finally overcoming my fever, I spent 4+ hours watching a HBO series called OZ. The show is no longer in production mind you so I am just watching the repeats. They are episodes I was never able to catch during the show's original airing. I used to watch the show all the time but money constraints caused me to cancel HBO and thus ended my ability to watch the show. I missed it at first, but as time passed I no longer felt the loss....until now.

Anyway...so I am sitting there watching OZ on IN DEMAND and I wonder if my endless fascination with this show has to do with the constant parade of penises, the gratuitous violence or the unpredictable story lines. I finally decided it is the combination of all three. Does this mean I am some sick individual in need of vast amounts of therapy? Maybe. But then again, I am not the only 'fan' of this show or it wouldn't have lasted as many seasons as it did. Plus it wouldn't be available on DVD for anyone willing to spend the $60+ per season.

So not wanting to dwell on the negative, I settled in and enjoyed one of my many guilty pleasures. I cheered for Beecher, cursed Schillinger, weeped for the absence of Keller. I immersed myself in this violent world of betrayal and drugs and sex. Where the 'hacks' are just as corrupt as the inmates if not sometimes worse. Where that butchy female corrections officer was finally knocked down a peg or two. I laughed hysterically and yelled in disbelief. I hate that it is over now and that I have to wait a month before another set of episodes are up for me to watch. What to do?

Do I break down and spend the cash to buy all the seasons and watch them at my leisure? Do I be patient and wait for a new set of episodes to be available for free? I teeter on the indecision as I stare at my collection of Buffy and Angel and Queer As Folk (American & British versions) and 24 and Soap DVD sets. Obviously my indecision is not based on cost. When that final "HUH" is made as the rolling credits and theme music begin on the last episode, I mourn. I already miss the penises and the violence and the wild story lines.

So here I am. Online expressing myself in the hopes that I can process my feelings and come to some sort of decision. Try to figure out my hesitancy. Am I just too impatient to wait or is my desire based on true fanaticism?...I decided.

Patience is a virtue. And it is a virtue that I need to acquire.